God's Loving Kindess

For some reason or another, I have never actually been able to wrap my fingers around the concept of God being my Father; my Daddy. Or Jesus as my brother.

I have always known God as a powerful omni-present being, the one that hears my prayers. And Jesus to be my Savior, but I never actually considered them to be part of my immediate family like I do my brother or my dad.

I have tried in the past to pray about it and take my cares to God like my father, but there was always a barrier that blocked me from feeling the things that I truly needed to feel to help me understand that God is my Father and I can go to him for anything that I need. I may not get it in an answer that I want like my Dad does to me, but He will answer me somehow. This I know. But I never could just close my eyes, reach out my arms and run to God like a little child does when they scrape their knee and he holds them tight and comforts them saying, "I'm here. You are okay. Daddy's here."

I have had a hard time over the past couple months trying to get into my Bible trying to learn what God wants me to. My mind was always distracted and I couldn't tell you how many times I would read the same sentence over and over and over again. I am grateful for the new friends that I have found at my new church. I started going to a new reunion group along with my regular one that I attend from the people of Walk to Emmaus. The new reunion group I chat with are women from my new congregation that have attended Via de Cristo which is similar to the Walk to Emmaus.

Ruth, one of the ladies from the group said to me, "Mindy, don't go to church-go to worship. And don't read the Bible- STUDY it."

I really needed to hear that because I was getting caught up in my schedule and I couldn't keep up with the daily readings and I wasn't retaining anything.

I did my study this morning and I had a new found, newly freshened look on the Bible. It was on God's kindness and how we really need to come to him as a child comes to a Father. He is our Daddy and we need to trust him like a child does. They mimic things that the parent does.

This makes me think of my 2 year old nephew. He does everything that my brother does. He is definitley a Daddy's boy. He follows Marshall around the house/yard with his Handy Manny tools and helps Daddy fix things. He runs to Daddy when it's time to sleep or he just needs a hug.

That's how I want to be with God. I want to look up to him and follow everything that He teaches me. I want to mirror him.

And I need to learn that Jesus is not only my Savior, but also my big brother. As I was reading my Bible study, I got this image of Jesus and I chatting over Starbucks, goofing off in the park, playing card games, crying into His shoulder, soaking it wet. That's the relationship I want with Jesus. I need to start making it personal again. I want to look at Him not only as my Savior and Brother, but also my lover. I want to be focused on nothing but him. I his love for me to fill me completely and make me whole. Sometimes that void just takes over and and I can't find anything to fill it, even when I try seeking it in the Word.

I am slowly learning to have an intimate relationship with my Daddy and Big Brother. I want it so much.

The Reason for the Season

It's that time of year again!!! HOLIDAYS! And I am not going to shy away to "make people happy" by saying Happy Holidays. It's Christmas time. We celebrate this time of year with the birth of Jesus.

Not Santa. Not candy. Not presents. Not little elves.

There is a reason for this season and people have slowly over the years forgotten the reason we celebrate. Retail has played a big part in everything too. Buy this!-it will make you thinner! By that!- you will make over a $100,000 in 24 hours! Crazy how we let ourselves get caught up in pleasing "us".

How can we forget that one person that humbled himself as a baby, in a feeding trough, in a barn....

Really if you think about it, even as Christians we romanticize the birth of Jesus. We think of Him as this bouncing blue-eyed smiling baby. Ponder the origin of His birth. I am pretty sure He wasn't blue-eyed and fair skin. Nor did He have a halo glimmering around His head.

He was born a normal baby, Mary with complications, like any child. But it was the best birth anyone could have.

Could you imagine being chosen to carry the Son of God? I would be like Mary. I admire her. She was so strong for such a young girl. 13! I have a niece that's 13 and I couldn't even THINK of her getting pregnant in our day and age. But at that time, it was normal.

I wish I had a heart like hers. Even being ridiculed by her peers and village, she trusted God. I want a faith like that.

So with all the hustle and bustle of buying things, take time to really sit and think why we are celebrating. Jesus came for you. He came for me. I will close with the chorus from How Many Kings written by Marc Martel the lead singer of downhere:

How many kings stepped down from their thrones
How many lords have abandoned their homes
How many greats have become the least for me
How many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that's been torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Only one did that for me.


Please take a listen to the song at www.downhere.com

Love Never Fails

Last night while journaling, I wrote this little poem based on 1 Corinthians 13:1, 3-8. It was actually part of my Bible study for church and I decided to meditate on it last night before bed. I know that love is something that I am working on. Not so much love my family and friends and such, it's the showing the love to my coworkers that irritate me and cause Satan to jab into me and make me falter. He knows my weakness and plays on them daily...and it's so hard to ignore him. Though I have noticed a change where I don't fall as easily. And I am learning to pray about the situation as it happens. Love is the greatest gift of all. I only know of one person who was willing to give His life for this wretched soul. And I thank him every day.....

1 Corinthians 13: 1, 3-8

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal.

If I give all I possess to the poor, and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices w/truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS.


Never Fails

If the sky would crumble away
Would you doubt me?
My love never fails.
If the last note in a song was played,
Would your ears reject me?
My love never fails.
If your last breath was taken in vain
Would you curse me?
My love never fails.

For I am patient; kind
Never boastful, nigh am I envious
I shall never be proud or easily angered.

Even on the darkest day
And you despise and forsake me,
My love never failed.