Monday, February 15, 2010

God's Loving Kindess

For some reason or another, I have never actually been able to wrap my fingers around the concept of God being my Father; my Daddy. Or Jesus as my brother.

I have always known God as a powerful omni-present being, the one that hears my prayers. And Jesus to be my Savior, but I never actually considered them to be part of my immediate family like I do my brother or my dad.

I have tried in the past to pray about it and take my cares to God like my father, but there was always a barrier that blocked me from feeling the things that I truly needed to feel to help me understand that God is my Father and I can go to him for anything that I need. I may not get it in an answer that I want like my Dad does to me, but He will answer me somehow. This I know. But I never could just close my eyes, reach out my arms and run to God like a little child does when they scrape their knee and he holds them tight and comforts them saying, "I'm here. You are okay. Daddy's here."

I have had a hard time over the past couple months trying to get into my Bible trying to learn what God wants me to. My mind was always distracted and I couldn't tell you how many times I would read the same sentence over and over and over again. I am grateful for the new friends that I have found at my new church. I started going to a new reunion group along with my regular one that I attend from the people of Walk to Emmaus. The new reunion group I chat with are women from my new congregation that have attended Via de Cristo which is similar to the Walk to Emmaus.

Ruth, one of the ladies from the group said to me, "Mindy, don't go to church-go to worship. And don't read the Bible- STUDY it."

I really needed to hear that because I was getting caught up in my schedule and I couldn't keep up with the daily readings and I wasn't retaining anything.

I did my study this morning and I had a new found, newly freshened look on the Bible. It was on God's kindness and how we really need to come to him as a child comes to a Father. He is our Daddy and we need to trust him like a child does. They mimic things that the parent does.

This makes me think of my 2 year old nephew. He does everything that my brother does. He is definitley a Daddy's boy. He follows Marshall around the house/yard with his Handy Manny tools and helps Daddy fix things. He runs to Daddy when it's time to sleep or he just needs a hug.

That's how I want to be with God. I want to look up to him and follow everything that He teaches me. I want to mirror him.

And I need to learn that Jesus is not only my Savior, but also my big brother. As I was reading my Bible study, I got this image of Jesus and I chatting over Starbucks, goofing off in the park, playing card games, crying into His shoulder, soaking it wet. That's the relationship I want with Jesus. I need to start making it personal again. I want to look at Him not only as my Savior and Brother, but also my lover. I want to be focused on nothing but him. I his love for me to fill me completely and make me whole. Sometimes that void just takes over and and I can't find anything to fill it, even when I try seeking it in the Word.

I am slowly learning to have an intimate relationship with my Daddy and Big Brother. I want it so much.


Ahoy! Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes life should be an open book and here you will find that true. My mind is always on full speed and I will be heading over many waves. I hope this journey is as much of an adventure for you as it is for me~ ~Mindy