Arise, there's a new way to live
Thought we were living, but that's not what we've been
We've been, breathing out and breathing in
But the question remains have we ever truly lived.
~New Way to Live, Jason Gray
I couldn't figure out why I have been so bitter these past few weeks. I couldn't figure out why my heart had been so hardened by the things people said to me. I couldn't figure out why my eyes had adverted away from God even though I tried to seek him over and over.
I am learning that I need to surrender and forgive. Forgive being the bigger part.
During Holy Week this year, an already stressful time for me as I am journeying to the Road to Calvary, my best friend decided she wanted to end our 6 year friendship. And what made it worse for me was the fact that she couldn't do it face to face. She did everything through facebook. I was hurt, confused, angered, bitter, resentful, you name it. I cried tears but I couldn't figure out why I cried them.
Then Good Friday came. I cried, knowing that Jesus died for me and saved me. But for some reason I couldn't let go of what had happened a couple days prior.
And these past few weeks have been the same. I haven't been very close to God and I haven't talked to him, even though I thought that I was doing a good job in my life. I mean, I wasn't out drinking, I wasn't doing drugs, I wasn't out breaking the law. so that had to count for something, right?
This past weekend I spent some time with some wonderful girls of God. And we also had an added little perk of listening to one of my favorite artists, Jason Gray. There was so much that went on this past weekend, but I will make that another post in the days coming. We got to have some special time with him and he was talking to us about stuff. There was a new song that he was working on and it just wrenched my heart wide open.
I was grateful that I was in the company of amazing friends. For had I not been, I would have not been able to get through that moment. God was speaking to me and laying His hand on my heart. He was telling me: "Forgive.....forgive.....forgive. That's all you need to do. Forgive, and let it go. I will handle the rest."
I knew exactly what He was talking about. I needed to forgive my friend for what happened. And things happen for a reason. This was just a stepping stone that I couldn't get over. I tried my hardest to hang on hoping that maybe, just maybe, if I did, things could work out. But I had to step off that rock and move on to the next one, waiting for God to tell me what to do.
Jason shared a story about how God wants all of us. Not what we think he wants us to be or how we should act in front of Him. We can never truly be intimate with Him if we are not willing to share everything with Him. Even our anger.
This was another turning point for me. I had to release the anger that had built up over the past couple days and give it to God. It was holding me back from Him.
It's going to take a bit to learn to do, but this weekend with amazing friends and musicians showed me that I have to be vulnerable at the feet of Jesus. He can give me peace and joy and comfort.
And I am learning there is a new way to live. A life full of joy and happiness. Satan can attack me all he wants, but as I read God's Word and commune with other believers who will lift me up, I can stand against him. Sorry, buddy, but you can't win this fight. You never have, you never will.
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Monday, May 10, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Love Poured Out
"That which is good, profitable or beneficial is not always fun, easy, or pleasant. Remember love, joy, peace, and kindness PRECEDE goodness." ~Beth Moore, Living Beyond Yourself: Living in the Fruit of the Spirit Workbook
I have not always been a pleasant person. I have not always done things to please God. I have been selfish, uncouth, demanding, unforgiving, unpleasant, non-peaceful, unloving, non-joyous. All the things that the Spirit is not. How am I to go about living in the Spirit if I am full of these things?
Can someone please help me out here?
God wants me to see the things that I am not so he can break me and use me for the things that are good. I cannot live on good works. What would they truly mean if I am only doing them to please someone else? How am I to learn if I am not broken and humbled in His presence?
In order for me to truly do good works, I must first learn to: LOVE. Have a joyful heart. Be kind to others. Then good works will follow.
I need to pray to learn to love. Love as Jesus loved. Love to the point I would lay down my life even for my enemy.
Crazy you say?
Jesus did it. He humiliated himself on a cross. NAKED. SCARRED. BEATEN. RIDICULED.
How's that for love? He didn't have to do it. But he chose to do it because he love us more than anything.
Shouldn't we return the favor?
I have not always been a pleasant person. I have not always done things to please God. I have been selfish, uncouth, demanding, unforgiving, unpleasant, non-peaceful, unloving, non-joyous. All the things that the Spirit is not. How am I to go about living in the Spirit if I am full of these things?
Can someone please help me out here?
God wants me to see the things that I am not so he can break me and use me for the things that are good. I cannot live on good works. What would they truly mean if I am only doing them to please someone else? How am I to learn if I am not broken and humbled in His presence?
In order for me to truly do good works, I must first learn to: LOVE. Have a joyful heart. Be kind to others. Then good works will follow.
I need to pray to learn to love. Love as Jesus loved. Love to the point I would lay down my life even for my enemy.
Crazy you say?
Jesus did it. He humiliated himself on a cross. NAKED. SCARRED. BEATEN. RIDICULED.
How's that for love? He didn't have to do it. But he chose to do it because he love us more than anything.
Shouldn't we return the favor?
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Sparrow at Starbucks
A friend of mine sent me this lovely little story about how God can use ANYONE to further His kingdom. I hope this story gives you a sense of hope to know that you do belong in this world and you are cradle gently in the palm of His hands. Enjoy!
The song that silenced the cappuccino machine
It was chilly in Manhattan but warm inside the Starbucks shop on 51st Street and Broadway, just a skip up from Times Square . Early November weather in New York City holds only the slightest hint of the bitter chill of late December and January, but it's enough to send the masses crowding indoors to vie for available space and warmth.
For a musician, it's the most lucrative Starbucks location in the world, I'm told, and consequently, the tips can be substantial if you play your tunes right. Apparently, we were striking all the right chords that night, because our basket was almost overflowing.
It was a fun, low-pressure gig - I was playing keyboard and singing backup for my friend who also added rhythm with an arsenal of percussion instruments. We mostly did pop songs from the '40s to the '90s with a few original tunes thrown in. During our emotional rendition of the classic, "If You Don't Know Me by Now," I noticed a lady sitting in one of the lounge chairs across from me. She was swaying to the beat and singing along.
After the tune was over, she approached me. "I apologize for singing along on that song. Did it bother you?" she asked.
"No," I replied. "We love it when the audience joins in. Would you like to sing up front on the next selection?"
To my delight, she accepted my invitation. "You choose," I said. "What are you in the mood to sing?"
"Well. ... do you know any hymns?"
Hymns? This woman didn't know who she was dealing with. I cut my teeth on hymns. Before I was even born, I was going to church. I gave our guest singer a knowing look. "Name one."
"Oh, I don't know. There are so many good ones. You pick one."
"Okay," I replied. "How about 'His Eye is on the Sparrow'?"
My new friend was silent, her eyes averted. Then she fixed her eyes on mine again and said, "Yeah. Let's do that one."
She slowly nodded her head, put down her purse, straightened her jacket and faced the center of the shop. With my two-bar setup, she began to sing.
Why should I be discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?
The audience of coffee drinkers was transfixed. Even the gurgling noises of the cappuccino machine ceased as the employees stopped what they were doing to listen. The song rose to its conclusion.
I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free.
For His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me.
When the last note was sung, the applause crescendoed to a deafening roar that would have rivaled a sold-out crowd at Carnegie Hall. Embarrassed, the woman tried to shout over the din, "Oh, y'all go back to your coffee! I didn't come in here to do a concert! I just came in here to get somethin' to drink, just like you!" But the ovation continued.. I embraced my new friend. "You, my dear, have made my whole year! That was beautiful!"
"Well, it's funny that you picked that particular hymn," she said.
"Why is that?"
"Well . .." she hesitated again, "that was my daughter's favorite song."
"Really!" I exclaimed.
"Yes," she said, and then grabbed my hands. By this time, the applause had subsided and it was business as usual.. "She was 16. She died of a brain tumor last week."
I said the first thing that found its way through my stunned silence. "Are you going to be okay?"
She smiled through tear-filled eyes and squeezed my hands. "I'm gonna be okay. I've just got to keep trusting the Lord and singing his songs, and everything's gonna be just fine." She picked up her bag, gave me her card, and then she was gone.
Was it just a coincidence that we happened to be singing in that particular coffee shop on that particular November night? Coincidence that this wonderful lady just happened to walk into that particular shop? Coincidence that of all the hymns to choose from, I just happened to pick the very hymn that was the favorite of her daughter, who had died just the week before? I refuse to believe it.
God has been arranging encounters in human history since the beginning of time, and it's no stretch for me to imagine that he could reach into a coffee shop in midtown Manhattan and turn an ordinary gig into a revival. It was a great reminder that if we keep trusting him and singing his songs, everything's gonna be okay.
The next time you feel like GOD can't use YOU, just remember...
* Noah was a drunk
* Abraham was too old
* Isaac was a daydreamer
* Jacob was a liar
* Leah was ugly
* Joseph was abused
* Moses had a stuttering problem
* Gideon was afraid
* Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
* Rahab was a prostitute
* Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
* David had an affair and was a murderer
* Elijah was suicidal
* Isaiah preached naked
* Jonah ran from God
* Naomi was a widow
* Job went bankrupt
* John the Baptist ate bugs
* Peter denied Christ
* The Disciples fell asleep while praying
* Martha worried about everything
* The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
* Zaccheus was too small
* Paul was too religious
* Timothy had an ulcer...AND
* Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses now!!
God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. God bless.
The song that silenced the cappuccino machine
It was chilly in Manhattan but warm inside the Starbucks shop on 51st Street and Broadway, just a skip up from Times Square . Early November weather in New York City holds only the slightest hint of the bitter chill of late December and January, but it's enough to send the masses crowding indoors to vie for available space and warmth.
For a musician, it's the most lucrative Starbucks location in the world, I'm told, and consequently, the tips can be substantial if you play your tunes right. Apparently, we were striking all the right chords that night, because our basket was almost overflowing.
It was a fun, low-pressure gig - I was playing keyboard and singing backup for my friend who also added rhythm with an arsenal of percussion instruments. We mostly did pop songs from the '40s to the '90s with a few original tunes thrown in. During our emotional rendition of the classic, "If You Don't Know Me by Now," I noticed a lady sitting in one of the lounge chairs across from me. She was swaying to the beat and singing along.
After the tune was over, she approached me. "I apologize for singing along on that song. Did it bother you?" she asked.
"No," I replied. "We love it when the audience joins in. Would you like to sing up front on the next selection?"
To my delight, she accepted my invitation. "You choose," I said. "What are you in the mood to sing?"
"Well. ... do you know any hymns?"
Hymns? This woman didn't know who she was dealing with. I cut my teeth on hymns. Before I was even born, I was going to church. I gave our guest singer a knowing look. "Name one."
"Oh, I don't know. There are so many good ones. You pick one."
"Okay," I replied. "How about 'His Eye is on the Sparrow'?"
My new friend was silent, her eyes averted. Then she fixed her eyes on mine again and said, "Yeah. Let's do that one."
She slowly nodded her head, put down her purse, straightened her jacket and faced the center of the shop. With my two-bar setup, she began to sing.
Why should I be discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?
The audience of coffee drinkers was transfixed. Even the gurgling noises of the cappuccino machine ceased as the employees stopped what they were doing to listen. The song rose to its conclusion.
I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free.
For His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me.
When the last note was sung, the applause crescendoed to a deafening roar that would have rivaled a sold-out crowd at Carnegie Hall. Embarrassed, the woman tried to shout over the din, "Oh, y'all go back to your coffee! I didn't come in here to do a concert! I just came in here to get somethin' to drink, just like you!" But the ovation continued.. I embraced my new friend. "You, my dear, have made my whole year! That was beautiful!"
"Well, it's funny that you picked that particular hymn," she said.
"Why is that?"
"Well . .." she hesitated again, "that was my daughter's favorite song."
"Really!" I exclaimed.
"Yes," she said, and then grabbed my hands. By this time, the applause had subsided and it was business as usual.. "She was 16. She died of a brain tumor last week."
I said the first thing that found its way through my stunned silence. "Are you going to be okay?"
She smiled through tear-filled eyes and squeezed my hands. "I'm gonna be okay. I've just got to keep trusting the Lord and singing his songs, and everything's gonna be just fine." She picked up her bag, gave me her card, and then she was gone.
Was it just a coincidence that we happened to be singing in that particular coffee shop on that particular November night? Coincidence that this wonderful lady just happened to walk into that particular shop? Coincidence that of all the hymns to choose from, I just happened to pick the very hymn that was the favorite of her daughter, who had died just the week before? I refuse to believe it.
God has been arranging encounters in human history since the beginning of time, and it's no stretch for me to imagine that he could reach into a coffee shop in midtown Manhattan and turn an ordinary gig into a revival. It was a great reminder that if we keep trusting him and singing his songs, everything's gonna be okay.
The next time you feel like GOD can't use YOU, just remember...
* Noah was a drunk
* Abraham was too old
* Isaac was a daydreamer
* Jacob was a liar
* Leah was ugly
* Joseph was abused
* Moses had a stuttering problem
* Gideon was afraid
* Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
* Rahab was a prostitute
* Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
* David had an affair and was a murderer
* Elijah was suicidal
* Isaiah preached naked
* Jonah ran from God
* Naomi was a widow
* Job went bankrupt
* John the Baptist ate bugs
* Peter denied Christ
* The Disciples fell asleep while praying
* Martha worried about everything
* The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
* Zaccheus was too small
* Paul was too religious
* Timothy had an ulcer...AND
* Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses now!!
God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. God bless.
