Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Better Than a Hallelujah Sometimes

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a hallelujah
~Amy Grant

"You are confused. You think the clay is equal to the potter. You think that an object can tell the one who made it, 'You didn't make me.' This is like the pot telling the maker, 'you don't know anything.' " ~Isaiah 29:16 (NCV)

The clay is not stronger than the potter. In fact, it's purpose is to yield to the bendings and moldings of the potter's hands. But sometimes, the clay is stubborn and resists the molding of the potter. When this happens, the clay becomes dry and brittle at times. And no matter how much the potter tries to salvage the clay by re-adding water, reshaping and creating new ideas, the clay can break. 

Our lives are the clay and God is the potter. Molding, shaping, building. God puts things in front of for reasons. And sometimes we repel against what He wants for us. He bends us, shapes us, sends us on new paths, when we have ventured on "our own" way instead of yielding to His hand and voice. He is happy when we obey him. But sometimes, if we are unwilling, he has to break us. And it breaks His heart to do so. But being broken is a good thing. By breaking, we can become aware of what we are doing or the path that is leading us away from God. And even then, sometimes we refuse to listen to Him. So He will continue to break us until we hear Him. 

God gives us choices on the path of life. Sometimes we ignore the path that He has chosen for us. We ignore the whisper in our ear saying, "Turn right, my child." And defiantly we chose the path that we want instead. And at certain times, God's heart is broken and he has to break our hearts. And like the clay, we become brittle and dry. And then instead of listening to Him, we question Him. "Why? Why did you let that happen? What did I do to deserve this? How much more are you going to throw at me? If you are a loving God, why do these things happen?"

I've asked these questions many times. Sometimes I got the answer that I wanted, other times I didn't. I know it sounds cliche, but things do happen for a reason. Sometimes these seasons are gloomy and we run, run, run from God. But you know what? God is the life giving water that is always flowing. And if we cry out to Him, he'll give us that living water and replenish the dry, brittle substance. And we grow in Him, letting Him reshape us.

Sometimes it feels like we don't want to go on living because one bad thing after another comes our way. And we feel like we don't have the strength to go on. But if we lean on God and those around us for support, we can make it through the day. One step at a time. One breath in and out. God will never let us fall so far from Him that he can't reach us. He's always able to pick us up when we've fallen. His arms are always open, waiting for us to come to Him. His love is as far as the East is from the West. 

I know you are broken and feeling lost at the moment. I know you feel like there is nothing left of you; nothing that you can give to anyone. I know you have been hurt by those you love. But God is here. He's waiting. He's waiting for you to cry out to Him. He may seem far away at the moment, but he will soon whisper, "I'm here! I've never left you!" Your cry to Him is better than a hallelujah. 

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

I am Gomer, Hosea's Wife

If you are unfamiliar with the story of Gomer, here's a quick background. She was a girl with a reputation. Promiscuous or possibly working as a prostitute. But God told Hosea to marry an unfaithful woman. So he did- he married Gomer. And he fell in love with her. But she still continued her bad behavior. Read more about Hosea and Gomer in the bible: Hosea 1:1-3:5.

Hi. My name is Gomer.

Seems we all can relate to Gomer at some point in our life, can we not? We've all had done something in our past that was wrong. Let me tell you a little story...

In the past few months, I have been Gomer more than I care to claim. No, I have not been sleeping around or selling my body. For the record, and I will never been ashamed of it, I am still a virgin and will be until I find the man I will marry. But, like Gomer, I've made choices that I could have changed. BIG choices. I hurt a few people that I care about. Not once. Not twice. But more than that. I kept getting that little niggling, "Don't do it, Mindy. It's not worth it." But I kept retorting back, "Oh, just this one little time will not hurt." And that one little time snowballed and ended up damaging those people emotionally and physically. But I was only thinking of myself and not the other people that I was hurting. And right now, I'm living with the mistakes that I have made.

I had been forgiven in the past by the people that I hurt, but this time, if forgiveness comes, it will take some time I'm sure. And trust and confidence will need to be built. I grenaded that wall down and now, brick by brick, I'm hoping to build it back with those people. I love them dearly. I learned from my mistakes.

And even though I feel like if I were them and I wouldn't ever forgive me, I deep down that God has forgiven me. He is Love. And he loves us unconditionally, just as Hosea loved Gomer even though she continued on her path of wickedness. But, just because God forgives us daily and days are made fresh and new in his love and mercy, doesn't give us free reign to go and continue to do the bad. Sometimes, it's going to take more than once, twice or three times to get it through out thick skulls to NOT do something that could be potentially harmful to you or others. *points to self * case in point. I hurt others over and over again, but this last time was the final time. I learned my lesson. This is an opportunity to learn from the wrongs and grown in character.

Just as God loves us and forgives us, we are to love and forgive others. It may not be immediate like God does, but eventually time will forgive. I need to take the "ME" goggles off and think before I speak or do something. I can stop the cycle.

Hi. My name is Gomer. And I have done things in the past that I am not proud of. But I'm willing to change them.

I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
"What do I live for?"

I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
"What do I live for?"

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives

If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin

There is truth in little corners of our lives
There are hints of it in songs and children's eyes
It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby
What do I live for?

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using bodies like money and truth like lies


We are more than dust
That means something
That means something
We are more than just
Blood and emotions
Inklings and notions
Atoms on oceans 

Ahoy! Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes life should be an open book and here you will find that true. My mind is always on full speed and I will be heading over many waves. I hope this journey is as much of an adventure for you as it is for me~ ~Mindy