Heroes are made when you make a choice

Wow.

I just had the most beautiful breakdown. A breakdown that was long overdue.

I am going through a Bible study called "He is my life" by Debbie Alsdorf. It's about loving others as Christ did. I think I mentioned this a couple blogs back.

I just finished my third week, and I can notice a difference in things. Yes, there are still some things that I am still working on, but I can feel a small difference. I'd rather take small steps and inch my way closer to my goal and climb to the top of the mountain verses taking giant leaps, reaching my goal in record time, only to fall and fail. I am learning to enjoy the obstacles in the way; they are helping me to grow and learn from my experiences.

Here is an example from this week. There is a salesman at work that, for some reason I can't quite figure out, I can't stand. Don't ask me why. I don't think that he ever did anything to me, and if he did, it was probably over something so stupid. Well, he came up to me at the window. I actually politely spoke with him. I wasn't short in answering him nor did I give him one word answers. I looked at him. I smiled at him. And I think that we actually laughed. Huh. Breakthroughs can be done.

But today, about a half hour ago, is when the breakdown came.

If you haven't seen the movie "To Save a Life", I really think that you should. I have heard nothing but good reviews about this movie, but then, I have heard reviews of other good movies only to be let way down.

This wasn't a slap in the face movie. This was a, "Mindy, I'm going to really open your heart and cause you to see what I see" moment. I watched it.

I became emotionally drained. I couldn't help but think of all the people that I have past on the street that probably needed a smile or a simple wave. Or the person that needed a door opened for them at the grocery store because their arms were full. Instead what did they get? A silent judgment. A glare. A "I'm better than you, so why would I associate myself with you" thought.

Some Christian I can be, huh?

I am so glad that God opened my eyes. I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. But too often, I become this person that I want the most not to be just to "fit in". Why? I can't take whatever I have here on this earth with me when I die.

Would I rather have a handful of gadgets that will last for a short period of time only to change in a matter of minutes? Or, would you rather have that warm, bear hug saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

I think I would chose the latter. At least, I knew I would have saved at least someone's life down the road instead of drowning myself in my headphones or games. No, I'm not saying that they are all fun. But I think I would like to see that person that I might have passed up smile and welcome them home when they pass from this world to the next.

When you feel that little tug in your stomach, don't ignore it. It's probably God tugging at your heart, breaking it to feel what He feels when He sees someone lonely and lost.

Here's a little phrase I came up with that I am trying to live by:
You can't say no to His go.

Sure, you can try and go a different path, but He's always going to lead you back.

Are you going to be a hero?

How doth do you take it?

I am finishing up a fan fiction that I am sad to end, but as you know, all stories come to an end. In the final chapter, I wrote a love poem for two of the characters. Now, I am not a sappy, lovey-dovey kind of person. I gag every time I see someone all in love or whatnot. I probably guarantee, that some day that will be me. But for now, I will let my stomach churn at people's public displays of gaggy affection.

And since I have never been in love, I was thinking to myself; "Self, how in the world are you going to write a love poem when you have never been in love?" To that I replied: "I have never been in love, but I have experienced love many times in my life."

As I was writing this, it was aimed for the characters, but as I was reading it over this morning to try and punch out the final chapter, I was reading the words:


“How doth the sun shine so brightly in the mid of day
 How doth the night sky darken where the stars happily play
 How doth my heart grow fond of the love that I give
 How doth do you take it, my fairest, to live?
 How doth do you take it, my fairest, to live?

 Do you take it with a spoonful of sugar
 Or do you take it with the sourest of vinegar
 I pray that you doth take it with my heart in mind
 For I shall always love you, my dearest divine.
 For I shall always love you, my dearest divine.”


In reality, this could be God talking to us. How do we take His love? Do we willingly accept it or do we turn our cheek and ignore it and giving it the foulest taste in our mouths?

I know that I have not been the most openly accepting of it. I have turned my back on God too many times to count, but I always come seeking it when I most need it.

And as the sun burns in the mid day and as the stars dance in the dark midnight, God is always there waiting for us, arms stretched out wide. Nothing can separate us from Him. He is always seeking us. And He wants to wrap us in His arms, cradle us in the palms of His hands and never let us go.

Jesus is our love song. Jesus is our love poem. And I will be sappy in love with Jesus until I see Him face to face. Of course, like any couple, we will have our moments, me mostly being the cause of it since I don't know how to surrender, He will be waiting and forgiving.

AGAPE; unconditional love. I want to show that to people.

A Father's Love Letter

I stumbled upon this while looking for something to add to my Bible Study. Wow. The Truth.

http://www.habeeb.com/fathers.love.letter/fathers.love.letter.english.html

Father's Love Letter
My Child ~
You may not know me, but I know everything about you ~ Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up ~ Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways ~ Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered ~ Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image ~ Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being ~ Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring ~ Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived ~ Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation ~ Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book ~ Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live ~ Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made ~ Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb ~ Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born ~ Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me ~ John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love ~ 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you ~ 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father ~ 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could ~ Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father ~ Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand ~ James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs ~ Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love ~ Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore ~ Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing ~ Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you ~ Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession ~ Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul ~ Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things ~ Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me ~ Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart ~ Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires ~ Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine ~ Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager ~ 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you ~ Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart ~ Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes ~ Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth ~ Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus ~ John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed ~ John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being ~ Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you ~ Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you ~ 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love ~ Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me ~ 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again ~ Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen ~ Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father ~ Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is ~ Will you be my child? ~ John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you ~ Luke 15:11-32
                                                                                                   Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

Love Poured Out

"That which is good, profitable or beneficial is not always fun, easy, or pleasant. Remember love, joy, peace, and kindness PRECEDE goodness." ~Beth Moore, Living Beyond Yourself: Living in the Fruit of the Spirit Workbook

I have not always been a pleasant person. I have not always done things to please God. I have been selfish, uncouth, demanding, unforgiving, unpleasant, non-peaceful, unloving, non-joyous. All the things that the Spirit is not. How am I to go about living in the Spirit if I am full of these things?

Can someone please help me out here?

God wants me to see the things that I am not so he can break me and use me for the things that are good. I cannot live on good works. What would they truly mean if I am only doing them to please someone else? How am I  to learn if I am not broken and humbled in His presence?

In order for me to truly do good works, I must first learn to: LOVE. Have a joyful heart. Be kind to others. Then good works will follow.

I need to pray to learn to love. Love as Jesus loved. Love to the point I would lay down my life even for my enemy.

Crazy you say?

Jesus did it.  He humiliated himself on a cross. NAKED. SCARRED. BEATEN. RIDICULED.

How's that for love? He didn't have to do it. But he chose to do it because he love us more than anything.

Shouldn't we return the favor?