Wednesday, July 21, 2010

When Opportunity Presents Itself

I had no intentions of writing or recording a song today. I was only going to sit at my piano and practice some music for an upcoming church service. Not sing. Only play. I put myself on vocal rest for goodness sake.

But, God had other plans.

I have been really getting into this Bible Study called "He is My Life" by Debbie Alsdorf. I just finished the first week today and I am enjoying being broken and made beautiful by the words God is putting on my heart.

I have no hard time showing love to those that I love, but when it comes to showing love to the enemy or someone I don't want to be seen with, that's another thing. I am learning to be challenged by loving others as Jesus loved(s) them. It's not easy, but one small step, two at a time, I will get there.

The verses that have been really laying on my heart the past couple days in regards to loving as Christ does, are these:

1 John 3:17-18
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 

Please take a listen. I hope it moves you to be the hands and feet of Christ. Don't mind the rough piano or vocal parts. I was so excited about it, that I wanted to get it out there for you to listen.


If every word I spoke- was lifted to the sky
But my heart quickly denied Your love
If my feet would walk the earth- to dry a crying eye
But the only thing they collected was dust
I would be nothing without Your love

Bind my heart to you, Jesus
Make it ever true
Flow into my veins and help me see
That every opportunity that presents itself is sure
To be my chance to be Your hands and feet

If for a moment I befriend- the loneliest of men
But turn away and forget his face and name
Would he truly see- You living in me
Or would my testament just be a chance at fame
I'd be nothing without Your grace


Take this heart of stone- mold it to fit Your own
Break the barriers hiding me from You
Let it be said of me- That the only thing
Is knowing how to love like You


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

American Idol: Cure or Curse?

So, my cousin-in-law called me today and asked if I was standing in line for American Idol auditions in Milwaukee, WI today. I told him no becuase there would have been no way of getting off of work, and I put myself on vocal rest becuase my voice has been acting funny and I have a bunch of weddings and other things coming up that I don't want to blow it out. My voice is my other sources of income.

I told him this and he was like, "Well, I guess you don't want it enough."

This is where I got defensive. Ever since people heard that American Idol was coming to Milwaukee, I have been getting asked if I was going or not. I told most people "no" because I knew I didn't want to go. A bunch of my family members got upset and told me that I obviously don't want it enough.

Want what? Fame? Fortune? The chance to live my dream?? Of course I want it. But my priorities have been reshuffled since I first heard about American Idol back in the day.

I don't understand why my family thinks that I HAVE to do American Idol and if I don't, I don't want to live out my dream enough. And when I tell them that it's not what God is telling me to do right now, they get all funny and come back with the "I don't want it" thing again. I'm giving back my talent where it belongs: back to God by writing, singing, and worshiping. I don't have to be rich and famous. That's what they want for me and they want to live vicariously through me.

I think as a family, they should be happy for me and my decisions. I have so many opportunities presenting themselves that I'm excited and scared. God knows what's best for me. And now that I think of it, I remember Dad saying one time, that I would never make it on Idol. Not because I don't have the talent, but because of the atmosphere. The "Hollywood" side of music is not for me. And I knew exactly what he meant.

My music is about God. God is my music. And I want to write, sing and perform just for Him. I want to give everything I have back to him. I don't want to parade on a stage in front of millions of people, hoping and wishing they vote for me to make it through to the next round. My only vote that matters is the one from God.

And His plan for me is all that should matter. I'm trusting Him. I'm leaning on Him. I am trying to decipher if it's my voice or His when I make a decision. And the decision to not do American Idol was not mine. I fought it for seven years. And God won.

I just wish my family would be happy and support my decisions. I get defensive when they tell me that I don't know what I want or that I am giving up on my dreams. I shouldn't have to defend myself. But I do and I get upset and it shows.

I am praying that God lays on their hearts and sees that my choices are going to be what's best for it at that time in my life. It just aches my heart when they can't see that God is moving. It's hard being in a family that doesn't understand my faith. They support it, yes. But I can't discuss it with most of them. They start to fidget and turn away.

God, you know what best and I am trusting you.

Good luck to all those that actually do try out for American Idol. My prayers, thoughts and wishes are with you.

Ahoy! Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes life should be an open book and here you will find that true. My mind is always on full speed and I will be heading over many waves. I hope this journey is as much of an adventure for you as it is for me~ ~Mindy