Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Mouse Tales

I want to step off the plane at Orlando International Airport, I want to get to our resort as quickly as possible and bury myself in Disney for a week without coming up for air.

Staying on-site allows guests to mainline the magic. You are completely immersed in that ambiance 24 hours a day, for your entire stay.

I don't want to drive the wrong way under the welcoming arch until it's time to go home. I'm not interested in seeing fast food restaurants along the highway or visiting Wal-mart, Publix, Hooters, or Target. (Maybe Hooters.) But for the most part I do not want to be reminded that there is a real world outside the gates of Walt Disney World. And by staying on-site, I am allowed, for a brief time, to forget about the day-to-day hassles and real life worries associated with life away from my vacation destination of choice.
~Excerpt from Mousejunkies!: Tips, Tales, and Tricks for a DISNEY WORLD fix by Bill Burke (emphasis mine)

"You are completely immersed in that ambiance 24 hours a day, for your entire stay." I so can't wait to do that. And though it's still 349 days away till I depart on my adventure to that Magical Land called Disney, I have started my planning and trying to find ways of cramming as much as I can possibly get in in 7 days, while leisurely strolling about Main Street USA, visiting the Pirates of the Caribbean, Cinderella Castle, etc.

Disney is not just a magical place for me. It's home. A long awaited trip home that I have been waiting to take for almost 30 years. And since I will be heading out during my birthday year, I am more than thrilled to be spending my milestone year with my mother and some really, really great friends. REAL and fictional.

Disney holds a very close place to my heart. I have always felt an attachment to it and I always wanted to work there. Yes, I'm sure everyone has dreamed of Disney at some point in their life, and yes, you cannot deny that you have laughed or even smiled at something Disney related. Most people have felt the magic sometime in their life.

I have lived with it 24/7 since I was child. I live, breathe, dream it. And so this will be a pilgrimage long coming. I will be a sappy mess. My side will hurt from laughing so hard. My heart will swell with memories coming to the brink and spilling forward and hold tight to all the new memories that will be created.

Crowds? What crowds? And the heat, you say? I care not for such trifles. They are only blips on the map that can be easily maneuvered. I will be so engrossed in Disney Euphoria that I will not even notice them. Ok, maybe for a minute or two, but the agitation will soon pass.

Yes, Disney, my home of magic and wonder. My life is about to take a beautiful turn and one more goal in my life will have been completed. I will never be the same.

Disney will never be the same once I set foot upon the magical ground.
Are you sure you are ready for me, Mickey? Minnie? Jack Sparrow, what say you?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Epic Fail

I was debating on whether I wanted to post this or not or keep it in my private journal. But, I decided, since I have great friends who will hold me accountable for my actions, I will tell you all.

I was not a very good person the other day. Saturday, May 15th, to be exact. I was waiting in line at Walmart with my mom, brother and his family. In front of us were two ladies buying items. I snubbed them and turned and said something to my mother that I don't appreciate people that are clearly well off, (They obviously had enough money to go and get piercings everywhere and tattoos, but yet they couldn't feed their children, so they recieve help from the government to supply them with baby formula, juices, etc...) I thought that I said it quiet enough so they wouldn't hear me.

Clearly, I didn't. The lady came up to me and said, "Next time, keep your comments to yourself." They walked away and her friend yelled out, "**tch" to me." I raised my shoulders and said that how I didn't care. I didn't appreciate people living off the system so they can go and spend useless money on things like tattoos and such.

When we were getting in the car, the ladies were waiting for us outside Walmart. They drove down the other lane and yelled the same profanities back at me. I didn't look at them,  but shook my head and let my blood boil. It stayed with me all evening long. I held on to that anger.

Did they have a right to offend me? NO.
Did I have a right to judge them? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I went ahead and did God's bidding. I judged the person. Instead of praying for them and asking God to provide for them and care for them as a friend, I went ahead and thought with my mouth. I am still learning to not be so offensive to people. I don't understand where this is all stemming from-I haven't pin pointed it. But I don't like what I do when I do things like that. I feel horrible afterwards and I KNOW that I was doing wrong, still I went ahead and did it.

It's actions like mine that make people second guess Christians. What kind of model of Christ am I if I go about spouting my tongue off to people? I forget that I am supposed to love my neighbors, pray for them, support them....and here I defend myself saying as to why they shouldn't be doing what they are doing, since I am not doing it....but take a good look in the mirror, Mindy. You are just as guilty as they are.

So, my friends, I feel better getting that of my chest. I confessed my sins and I am looking absolution.

Friday, May 14, 2010

How doth do you take it?

I am finishing up a fan fiction that I am sad to end, but as you know, all stories come to an end. In the final chapter, I wrote a love poem for two of the characters. Now, I am not a sappy, lovey-dovey kind of person. I gag every time I see someone all in love or whatnot. I probably guarantee, that some day that will be me. But for now, I will let my stomach churn at people's public displays of gaggy affection.

And since I have never been in love, I was thinking to myself; "Self, how in the world are you going to write a love poem when you have never been in love?" To that I replied: "I have never been in love, but I have experienced love many times in my life."

As I was writing this, it was aimed for the characters, but as I was reading it over this morning to try and punch out the final chapter, I was reading the words:

“How doth the sun shine so brightly in the mid of day
 How doth the night sky darken where the stars happily play
 How doth my heart grow fond of the love that I give
 How doth do you take it, my fairest, to live?
 How doth do you take it, my fairest, to live?

 Do you take it with a spoonful of sugar
 Or do you take it with the sourest of vinegar
 I pray that you doth take it with my heart in mind
 For I shall always love you, my dearest divine.
 For I shall always love you, my dearest divine.”

In reality, this could be God talking to us. How do we take His love? Do we willingly accept it or do we turn our cheek and ignore it and giving it the foulest taste in our mouths?

I know that I have not been the most openly accepting of it. I have turned my back on God too many times to count, but I always come seeking it when I most need it.

And as the sun burns in the mid day and as the stars dance in the dark midnight, God is always there waiting for us, arms stretched out wide. Nothing can separate us from Him. He is always seeking us. And He wants to wrap us in His arms, cradle us in the palms of His hands and never let us go.

Jesus is our love song. Jesus is our love poem. And I will be sappy in love with Jesus until I see Him face to face. Of course, like any couple, we will have our moments, me mostly being the cause of it since I don't know how to surrender, He will be waiting and forgiving.

AGAPE; unconditional love. I want to show that to people.

Monday, May 10, 2010

New Way to Live

Arise, there's a new way to live
Thought we were living, but that's not what we've been
We've been, breathing out and breathing in
But the question remains have we ever truly lived.

~New Way to Live, Jason Gray

I couldn't figure out why I have been so bitter these past few weeks. I couldn't figure out why my heart had been so hardened by the things people said to me. I couldn't figure out why my eyes had adverted away from God even though I tried to seek him over and over.

I am learning that I need to surrender and forgive. Forgive being the bigger part.

During Holy Week this year, an already stressful time for me as I am journeying to the Road to Calvary, my best friend decided she wanted to end our 6 year friendship. And what made it worse for me was the fact that she couldn't do it face to face. She did everything through facebook. I was hurt, confused, angered, bitter, resentful, you name it. I cried tears but I couldn't figure out why I cried them.

Then Good Friday came. I cried, knowing that Jesus died for me and saved me. But for some reason I couldn't let go of what had happened a couple days prior.

And these past few weeks have been the same. I haven't been very close to God and I haven't talked to him, even though I thought that I was doing a good job in my life. I mean, I wasn't out drinking, I wasn't doing drugs, I wasn't out breaking the law. so that had to count for something, right?

This past weekend I spent some time with some wonderful girls of God. And we also had an added little perk of listening to one of my favorite artists, Jason Gray. There was so much that went on this past weekend, but I will make that another post in the days coming. We got to have some special time with him and he was talking to us about stuff. There was a new song that he was working on and it just wrenched my heart wide open.

I was grateful that I was in the company of amazing friends. For had I not been, I would have not been able to get through that moment. God was speaking to me and laying His hand on my heart. He was telling me: "Forgive.....forgive.....forgive. That's all you need to do. Forgive, and let it go. I will handle the rest."

I knew exactly what He was talking about. I needed to forgive my friend for what happened. And things happen for a reason. This was just a stepping stone that I couldn't get over. I tried my hardest to hang on hoping that maybe, just maybe, if I did, things could work out. But I had to step off that rock and move on to the next one, waiting for God to tell me what to do.

Jason shared a story about how God wants all of us. Not what we think he wants us to be or how we should act in front of Him. We can never truly be intimate with Him if we are not willing to share everything with Him. Even our anger.

This was another turning point for me. I had to release the anger that had built up over the past couple days and give it to God. It was holding me back from Him.

It's going to take a bit to learn to do, but this weekend with amazing friends and musicians showed me that I have to be vulnerable at the feet of Jesus. He can give me peace and joy and comfort.

And I am learning there is a new way to live. A life full of joy and happiness. Satan can attack me all he wants, but as I read God's Word and commune with other believers who will lift me up, I can stand against him. Sorry, buddy, but you can't win this fight. You never have, you never will.

Ahoy! Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes life should be an open book and here you will find that true. My mind is always on full speed and I will be heading over many waves. I hope this journey is as much of an adventure for you as it is for me~ ~Mindy