Saturday, August 07, 2010
I just had the most beautiful breakdown. A breakdown that was long overdue.
I am going through a Bible study called "He is my life" by Debbie Alsdorf. It's about loving others as Christ did. I think I mentioned this a couple blogs back.
I just finished my third week, and I can notice a difference in things. Yes, there are still some things that I am still working on, but I can feel a small difference. I'd rather take small steps and inch my way closer to my goal and climb to the top of the mountain verses taking giant leaps, reaching my goal in record time, only to fall and fail. I am learning to enjoy the obstacles in the way; they are helping me to grow and learn from my experiences.
Here is an example from this week. There is a salesman at work that, for some reason I can't quite figure out, I can't stand. Don't ask me why. I don't think that he ever did anything to me, and if he did, it was probably over something so stupid. Well, he came up to me at the window. I actually politely spoke with him. I wasn't short in answering him nor did I give him one word answers. I looked at him. I smiled at him. And I think that we actually laughed. Huh. Breakthroughs can be done.
But today, about a half hour ago, is when the breakdown came.
If you haven't seen the movie "To Save a Life", I really think that you should. I have heard nothing but good reviews about this movie, but then, I have heard reviews of other good movies only to be let way down.
This wasn't a slap in the face movie. This was a, "Mindy, I'm going to really open your heart and cause you to see what I see" moment. I watched it.
I became emotionally drained. I couldn't help but think of all the people that I have past on the street that probably needed a smile or a simple wave. Or the person that needed a door opened for them at the grocery store because their arms were full. Instead what did they get? A silent judgment. A glare. A "I'm better than you, so why would I associate myself with you" thought.
Some Christian I can be, huh?
I am so glad that God opened my eyes. I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. But too often, I become this person that I want the most not to be just to "fit in". Why? I can't take whatever I have here on this earth with me when I die.
Would I rather have a handful of gadgets that will last for a short period of time only to change in a matter of minutes? Or, would you rather have that warm, bear hug saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
I think I would chose the latter. At least, I knew I would have saved at least someone's life down the road instead of drowning myself in my headphones or games. No, I'm not saying that they are all fun. But I think I would like to see that person that I might have passed up smile and welcome them home when they pass from this world to the next.
When you feel that little tug in your stomach, don't ignore it. It's probably God tugging at your heart, breaking it to feel what He feels when He sees someone lonely and lost.
Here's a little phrase I came up with that I am trying to live by:
You can't say no to His go.
Sure, you can try and go a different path, but He's always going to lead you back.
Are you going to be a hero?
Ahoy! Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes life should be an open book and here you will find that true. My mind is always on full speed and I will be heading over many waves. I hope this journey is as much of an adventure for you as it is for me~ ~Mindy
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