Thursday, January 21, 2010

I want to finish last. Last in the worlds eyes

As I was reading my Bible this morning, I couldn't finish Matthew Chapter 20 because one verse kept being spun around in my head:

15:"Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?"

So I read the footnote.

This verse comes from the story that Jesus is telling about the vineyard owner and how he paid the last hired who only worked about an hour the same wage as those slaving all day in the vineyard. The ones that worked all day were mad. And the vineyard owner confronted them saying that don't I have the right on how to spend my own money.

This parable is not about the rewards of heaven but about salvation and God's grace. We shouldn't begrudge people who turn to God at the last moments of their life. And I am learning this the hard way.

There is a coworker of mine whom I couldn't stand and no matter how I tried to ignore and or give him signs that I didn't want him around me; that he was bothering me. He was very crude and just would say derogatory things to me. He left the dealership and I jumped for joy. A couple weeks later he came back. I grumbled.


He came over to me the other day and told me that he started going to this church by him and how he really enjoys it. This is coming from the same man that I COULDN'T stand and didn't believe in "organized religion". He told me how he and the pastor are forming a great relationship with each other. At first, I tried to ignore him, because I didn't want anything to do with him.

But then the other day when we were talking, I think God was whispering to me. "Mindy, he's coming to you because he knows you are the only one here that he can talk to with questions. HELP HIM."

I was like, "REALLY, God? Are you serious?! I can't stand this man!! And now you want me to HELP him!?"

Boy....did I wake up. Especially hearing this parable today. Am I jealous of relationship that he is finding with God? Absoulutely not. I have a relationship. But God is helping me strengthen that relationship by breaking down the walls I have for this guy and helping him out. He is going to need it. I call going to work, "The Lion's Den." Most days it feels like it. So if I can help him just a little each day, then so be it.

God is helping me learn in BIG ways by letting go of the past and learning that Jesus would have approached him straight away without hesitation. And praying for guidance is going to be a project to work on. I don't have a problem praying for the ones I love. But bringing my "enemies" into the equasion is going to be fun.....It's something that I need to work on and will be asking God for help on quite a bit :)

It's not easy, but I am willing to do it. Every time I see him, I clench my jaw. Satan thinks that he can hold the power over me, but it's going to be taken away real fast.


Twelvestone said...

Hey, I love this post!

Ahoy! Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes life should be an open book and here you will find that true. My mind is always on full speed and I will be heading over many waves. I hope this journey is as much of an adventure for you as it is for me~ ~Mindy